I am fat. I need to lose a lot of weight. Eighty pounds would do it, however I would be happy with thirty pounds and wearing very baggy t-shirts.
Girls -even the chubby ones - don't like fat guys; my sparkling personality doesn't help much in my case, either.
Doctors do like fat guys because it helps subsidize their mistresses and speed boats.
Chinese restaurants do not like fat guys. Just last week I went to a Chinese buffet and they sat me in the corner, behind the coke machine and directly beside the kitchen; every time I went to get another plate of food, I had to dodge the wait staff and suffer -what I assume to be- cursing in Mandarin.
I am realist, so I know any weight loss will not be long term, at best I will maintain a healthy lifestyle for a few months until the siren's call of 2 Double Whoppers and 5 Taco Supremes will be too much to resist.
Regardless of the long term success, I will lose a lot of weigh for the right reason: to get touched by an awkward looking woman with low self esteem.
Of course I just ordered a pizza from Papa John's, so I will start the diet tomorrow - maybe.
3 comments:
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